When i remembered the pain i caused to you,at first i didn't give a shit about it.Why ? Because i thought that you gave me even more.So much that i wouldn't be doubted saying that."I HATE YOU MORE THAN I HATE MYSELF".Yeah,that words kinda marked in my heart (haha) a long time ago.You gave me pain,i gave you more.
I just wanted you to know how painful it is to be like me,so that you could understand.How hard it was to stay still when your (ex)BF (not blue film) talking about you with other guys.Hell,i got angry,but i realized it was useless.Yeah,shit happened.
You know,when i remembered how stupid my deeds to you,it kinda freaked me out.You cried,then you left.The next day,you and i don't even say "hi".If i got no friends like them,i wouldn't say those "S" words,which i rarely said.
The more i stepped aside,the more i healed.I decided to stay away in order to prepare myself.For what,i didn't know.It was just another way to get rid of reality that.It was because i realized that i am not worthy.I never was.
Hell,i realized it on a sunny day a few month earlier.
That i shouldn't be doing this.If i really loved her,than i mustn't got jealous.If she really loved him,i should be happy too.
Well,then she's single.i think that it is possible to me to reach her.But,some friends of mine told me a few things.I have to understand her feelings,all about her.But come on,get real.How could i understand her if she didn't give me a chance to express my feeling?I love you,for real.I love your imperfection.I love you for real.I don't care if you don't love me back.I just want you to know that i love you.I want to tell you so bad.But i'm just a jerk who hurt you over and over with my behavior you called "selfishness".Well,now give me a break.Do you even know what it means to be selfish anyway ? Saying someone selfish but you didn't look at yourself.Who's selfish now ? .
I tweeted,i wrote in my social network somethings like "know pain " "i want you to understand" blah-blah blah.Hell,i overlooked at them all and thought,"Hey.This is so selfish".Well yeah,i'm an idiot.I blamed someone selfish to understand me.Isn't that called selfish?Forced someone to do,or to be what you want ?
I just want you to know my feelings.
I just want you to know that i'm sorry.
I just want you to know that i'm worthy enough to love you.
Hell,i've gotta stop.Otherwise,i'm gonna explode -_____-'' .
Bye folks,sorry for the trivia.
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